A Very Long Post, Part II: My trip can start now. I have Skittles.

I slept nearly 14 hours on Friday night - Saturday morning, from about 10pm to 12 noonish. All of this traveling and walking about takes a lot out of you.

Saturday was just bizarre - I saw and heard so many things that just blew my mind. I started off with another walk in Vondelpark. It's a great walking park - nice and quiet, people walking, biking, playing socc-er... football. saw numerous couples making out and groping in broad daylight. never a dull moment. what fascinates me most are the animals. first, dogs are allowed to walk sans leash - but it's ok because they're all incredibly well-behaved... although i did see a male bulldog try to mount a male cocker spaniel. that was funny. the birds are great - there are several blue herons (not herrings, that's a fish)around, some ravens, and these strange birds that are shaped like a mix between crows and pigeons. They're black in their wings and upper body and along the spine and white underneath, with these rich blue patches on their backs between their wings, and to top it all off, iridescent green along their long tail feathers. really cool. they act somewhat like crows do. I've also noted that birds do a lot more hopping about that what i've seen back home.

anyway. i decided to try to get lost and find my way again. you know, to branch out into other areas of the city. i basically covered the area north of the museum district and Vondelpark, but southwest of the city center. here's where the bizarre begins.

In the park, there was a group of people talking as i was walking by. now, one way of saying 'thank you' in dutch is "bedankt
". one guy was thanking another member of his party, and he stumbled on his words, so it came out: "bedankt-uh-dankt". Say that slowly... ok, now with a little lest stress on the t's...
that's right. a dutchman said "badonkadonk" to a lady friend while i was walking by. I couldn't help but chuckle... and then laugh... and then guffaw as i walked away.

from this, i learned: 1) i am pretty immature. i'm ok with that. it's endearing, to a degree. 2) "badonkadonk" was just about the last word i expected to hear this summer. 3) i can't make this up if i try.

what a way to start the day. then, i saw three (3) bicycle accidents in the span of 25 minutes: the first involved two gentlemen turning into the same corner while talking on cell phones - that was pretty. the second and third involved women - rather, men riding bikes watching women bicyclists who weren't exactly dressed for biking, followed immediately by men running into inanimate objects.

Here, i learned that 1) the bicyclists in Amsterdam are, for the most part pretty aware of what they're doing but 1a.) they ARE aggressive and 1b.) they DO get into accidents. 2.) women should probably not wear low cut shirts and lean forward while biking into a pack of men biking the opposite direction. 3.) women should probably not wear tiny skirts while biking. underwear may be desirable in this case as well. 4.) i should really take my camera with me everywhere i go.
(not for the cleavage or nudity. you pervs.)

after the bike demolition derby, i decided to step into a grocery store to pick up some things. it baffled me how many american products are here in europe, but in flavors that we haven't heard of back home... the currant flavor of my beloved Skittles, for example. curiosity got the better of me and i decided to pick up Thai Sweet Chili Pringles because 1) they're vegan and 2) i had never heard of such a thing. and i don't even like Pringles. they're weird. vaguely BBQ flavored with a bit of a cheesy taste... and there's no cheese involved. hmm..... i also picked up diet coke with lime. much more bitter than in the US, and with more of a non-descript citrus flavor... not bad at all. anyway, the rest of the shopping was interesting because the vast majority of products here are labelled in Dutch. my Dutch is terrible, but i can ferret out a few key ingredients. for the rest of the ingredients, if i suspect that there is something dairy involved, that usually means a trip to the dairy section to compare words and roots. takes a while. kinda fun. i'll be able to survive here, but i'm sure there'll be plenty of slip-ups along the way. getting used to the euro and "oh my how cheap everything seems" will take a while. also got some fake meat, some sauce, some acacia honey (yumm), some hummus, some juice, and bread. oh yeah, and Skittles!

(Editor's note: at the time of posting, all of the skittles had been eaten. please send toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, and dental floss. future donations of polident or fixodent may be necessary.)

immediately after leaving the grocery store, what do i see in the little square nearby? a freaking country line dancing demonstration! wtf. i've never seen one in the states, and i come all the way to amsterdam to see one? can't the US send over a dance with some rhythm? please?!

This taught me that 1) don't buy something just because it's vegan and you're curious. 2) maybe it was a sign that i shouldn't be buying so many american products. comfort foods are good, but i'm here to try new things. 3) americans need a better dance. and 4) i should really take my camera with me everywhere i go.

That was pretty much a northern trek, so i continued eastward, then south eventually, in an attempt to get back to the house (i hadn't purchased a grocery bag at the first store, so i was carrying most of the stuff in my daybag/manpurse and also by hand.)... (also, it had been about 2 hours by this point.) eventually i cut down one street, which had a small shop that sold frozen treats. in the window was an incredibly vulgar poster: it was essentially the bottom half of a woman's face, in profile, devouring a chocolate-and-nut-covered frozen banana. she was going all out (or all in, perhaps); it was messy. who are the ad wizards who came up with that one? (must... buy... frozen... bananas...)
Not a minute after the frozen deepthroat stand, a woman pushing a baby cart/carriage/thing walks towards me, and her daughter in tow, maybe 2, starts making faces at me, so i make one back. the kid responds by holding up one index finger and giving me the dirtiest evil eye i have EVER received. kids these days.

from this i learned that 1) advertising isn't so different here, and they can prolly get away with more. and 2) i really should take my camera with me everywhere i go.

at that point, i went home, had a snack, called k (who just got an adorable pup named Mina, pictured above), and crashed. i was pooped. i woke up after a bit, had another snack (i.e. Skittles), brushed my teeth forever, looked over my morning walk to Centraal Station, and slept quite well. liking this place more and more, but what a bizarre day.